It's not much but this is all I have..

214

2008-08-11T17:27:00.001+08:00

I got bored of blogger. But I'm not deleting this account.
http://nautilus-4.livejournal.com/
many thanks

213

2008-07-24T23:24:00.002+08:00

Exam period and I'm not liking it.
Not because of stress from studies.
Felt my time so wasted today doing nothing.
I'm trying, trying my very best
To make her smile again..

i'll be there when you need me
even if in the middle of the night
your legs are painful
i'll rush there to give you a massage till you sleep
it's okay and i understand
give you time and hope you'll still be mine
take a break and think of me
even just a minute
i'll be glad

212

2008-07-07T08:46:00.001+08:00

7.7.08

every day
every moment
you're part of me

Second month
Hope it last forever

211

2008-07-02T22:42:00.002+08:00

Wandering in the grassland.
Searching till I found you.
Those were the moments, tears rolling down my cheek.
That stalk of rose brought you the smile which I can never find elsewhere.
At the same time I realised, I can only see you.
Surrounding you, nothing.
Cause I can only see you.

You got me crazy.
Got my heart beating.
Never felt so much more alive.

It's a starry night.
Lighted up 90 candles.
To win the heart of hers.
This time, not just a stalk of rose.

I confessed and you smiled.
Really nervous till you said yes.
Was getting excited and more nevous.

It was that kiss, that kiss calm the storm inside me.

And it was that day, I've never been happier before..

210

2008-07-02T22:11:00.002+08:00

So much for not posting..
Fatigue is getting into me.
The trainings and school work.

First of all, biggest thanks to dear for getting me a floorball stick.
I will cherish it. Couldnt be any more surprised.

Just when i wanna blog about all the happy things.

My mood just died.

209

2008-06-19T23:44:00.002+08:00

Finally have the time to blog after so long.

First of all, I've been busy with trainings and coming home late.

Tiring but enjoyable.

I had my first floorball training today.

It was fun!!

Well I didnt know pei bao was in floorball too.

She was shocked to see me and so was I.

Rather tiring with all the sprinting though.

Nothing much going on this holidays except for training.

I want to thank my special one for being there for me always.

Even though she's sick but she still came.

Thanks for the encouragement and the trust.

I really love you..

208

2008-06-11T00:36:00.002+08:00

Just let me hug you.
And give you reassurance.
Though I'm imperfect.
But I assure you the best.
When you need a listening ear
I'll be there, scream in my ears till i'm deaf.
When you need a punching bag
I'll be there, punch me all you like.
All i ask, just keep me alive.
I'll kiss you to sleep everynight.
Just to see you waking up by my side.

207

2008-06-11T00:03:00.002+08:00

I'm damn happy today.

Why?

Cause breakfast in bed!

It really surprises me like alot.

Didnt see that coming. Thanks dear.

Yesterday was training day.

After so long, it was pretty bad.

My stamina and my body can barely take it.

Since after the training I'm very tired.

Went over to hendrick's place to get psp games then to jin's.

I slept at jin's house while the files are transferring.

Then back at home hogging the psp and started playing.

Didnt really do much today..

i'm tired
we're not meeting so often now
i hate this
cause i miss you

206

2008-06-10T13:16:00.002+08:00

#1: If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
Very sad of course.. but i wont dwell on it..

#2: what kind of people you dislike?
I try not to

#3: What will your dream wedding be like?
Sky diving!

#4: Are you hungry?
Usually depend on mood

#5: What's your ideal lover like?
sporty, tan, simple.

#6: Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
Loving someone

#7: How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
Dont know, if there is a reason i might.

#8: If the person you secretly like (if there isn't one, just imagine) is already attached, what would you do?
Move on

#9: Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
No

#10: Is there anything that has made you happy these days?
of course, yea my darling got me breakfast on bed!!

#11: How do you see yourself in ten years time?
Like an old man..
Slacking life away

#12: Who are currently the most important people to you?

Her
My family
The guys

#13: What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
loveliest, sweetest person

#14: Would you rather be single and rich, or married but poor?
Married but poor.

#15: What's the first thing you do every morning?
Message her

#16: Would you give it all in a relationship?
Yes

#17: If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
It never happen before so i dont know

#18: Would you rather be friend with a geek who is a really nice guy or a super hot dude
I mean they are all guys who cares

#19: What are your friends usually like?
Funny and full of shit

#20: What would you do if you had one day left in the world?
Spend my time with her doing crazy thingss

^^

205

2008-06-09T00:06:00.003+08:00

( 07.06.08 )

I kinda slept till afternoon.

I woke up and realise,

I'm going to be late.

Trying so hard to get my heavy head out of my bed,

and I did it eventually.

Hard work...

Went to her school and watch her as she plays.

After her tiring day,

she still went out with me.

I could see that she's really tired.

We went to marina first to have our dinner.

Then to clark quay and watch the art performance.

Then back to Esplanade hoping to slack at the rooftop.

It was closed -_- !

Kinda sad.

We went home after that,

cause I know she's really tired

-----------------------------------------------------------

She's special
so special in many ways
like an angel
sent to me from above

You're a part of me now.
I hope you know.
I want you by my side forever,
even the simplest little things you've done for me,
I feel so happy.

Not because of who I am
but because of what you've done
not because of what I've done
but because of who you are.

Love you always..

204

2008-06-01T21:50:00.002+08:00

It was never the same

Since I met you again

You gave me that smile

and I couldnt look away

Was wondering if that's you

You moved closer and I know it's true

The pair of beautiful eyes

That hold me

And got me so mesmerized

And that smile you gave

It took away my soul without my permission

Just how could you...

This feeling is so strange

I think I've fallen for you

I'm sure...

203

2008-06-01T01:18:00.002+08:00

Okay, I'm repeating the same song over and over again.

Sorry kk, kl, meng ting, cy and jasper... Complaint that you all are too noisy...

Guess i'm begining to have attitude problems.

I dont know what's this sudden downfall.

Things dont seem smooth..

What's with all these sudden happenings

202

2008-06-01T00:19:00.002+08:00

I woke up with the heart for studying in the latter part of the day. Got her breakfast, to make up for the not so happy yesterday. And then I proceed to meng ting's house. Reach Lot 1 at around 1145am. Thought I was the latest. Sadly, I'm not. When everyone reached is around 1250pm. They eat till around 140pm. Reach her house at around 215pm. They started playing a bit of drum and make noise. Okay though i make some nosie too. But was out of frustration. I dont know why too. Then played a bit of football on the PS2. Then before I know, it was already 5 something. They continued playing mah jong. Until i was kinda like no mood for anything. Went to study. ARGHHH, i cant stand the noise. Put on my head phone and blast music and started to do my paper. When i finish, it was around 8 something. Then kk come to distract me with his psp. Then till it was around 9, they ordered pizza. They finish it and play mah jong after that. The whole time they are playing mah jong, i was stoneing infront of my computer. Read bleach manga while they are playing. Then proceed home at around 1130pm.

Totally mood-less for anything...
It's up and down inside me..
I dont feel good...

203

2008-05-30T19:39:00.005+08:00

It's been so long since i reached home so early with absolutely nothing to do at all.

Zzz.... miss her...

Alright, the pcn test...no comments.

Kinda expected that things would turn out this way.

I DID STUDY FOR ECAM.

Meng ting asked me to do tutorial 2 question 1.

* Flip through the pages *
* writing sounds *
* dripping sound of my brain juice *

FINALLY finish that question in like 10 mins?

Then then then then, I tell myself

' ALRIGHT T.T GOOD JOB BOY, I'M DONE WITH STUDYING '

* Jump into bed *
* fell asleep *

This morning, suprisingly i woke up too early.

When you start snoozing from 4am what do you expect. 15 mins interval.

Amazingly, I reached school 40 mins before the test commence.

After a whole long day of boring school stuff. I'm back at home.

Maybe going to skate for awhile later.

_________________________________________________________

living without her is impossible..
impossible to find, a girl like her..
her smile, the most beautiful thing i've ever seen..

Though it was short,
I feel as though forever.

202

2008-05-29T02:31:00.001+08:00

Waking up seeing you right beside me..

I so love that sight and I really hope time will stop.

It's such a beautiful moment..

201

2008-05-28T14:58:00.002+08:00

No one ever saw me like you do

All the things that I could add up too

I never knew just what a smile was worth

But your eyes see everything without a single word

'Cause there's somethin' in the way you look at me

It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece

You make me believe that there's nothing in this world I can't be

I never know what you see

But there's somethin' in the way you look at me

If I could freeze a moment in my mind

It'll be the second that you touch your lips to mine

I'd like to stop the clock, make time stands still

'Cause, baby, this is just the way I always wanna feel

I don't know how or why I feel different in your eyes

All I know is it happens every time

wanna wake up seeing you beside me every morning..

200

2008-05-26T00:55:00.007+08:00

For you...

Miss you while working...

Alright.... Finally, hit my second century post.

All these moments, they were the best of my life.

I guess it's hard to let go now.

Each time we part.

Your eyes make me stay.

I so dont wanna leave you but I had no choice.

I want you to be with me every second of time.

cause i love you so...

199

2008-05-22T01:09:00.004+08:00

Photos are up for grab as always..

Will try to post more photos for our class's daily happenings.

Our class have been kinda united..

Like i tthat way..

My class has a blog...

Very tired recently...

Off to sleep

oh ya 1 more post till my 200 posr

198

2008-05-19T01:38:00.005+08:00

Okay pretty much tired this few days...

Reached home kinda late as well.

Didnt have time or mood to blog.

Lately, our class has been going to the games room.

During our break, we would spent time there playing.

Uno stacko and reversi.

Chia yee owns all of us in reversi.

No one expects that.

Cause she doesnt look like the pro type.

I have many photo to upload too.

I did my art on saturday.

Spent 6 hours doing.

The photoshop killed me cause i dont know how to use it.

CS3 was lagging my com like shit....

ARGH... went to meet carole at tp after that.

She just finish her floorball training.

She's crazy, she went for the guys and the girls training.

That's 7 hours!!!!

She was damn tired after that...

I realise that my class have been more and more lively....

Not sure what the reasons are. Maybe i do know afterall.

SUNDAY!! went to work, then carole surprised me at work. She came down to find me...

Sadly she was kinda lost but she found her way to me ^^.

Went to vivo meet her friends and have dinner at hong kong kim lim cafe. ( if i'm not wrong )

Tako Balls and corns, outside class

Chia yee got steady hands!!

Novena sq 2, she said i blend with the wall

MY latest product??

Boring PCN LAB!

Any drinks? sir...

Botak Ng.... (calvin ng)

our class people fingers... guess which is mine.. some of them not here

Mr kok lun and his obsession with camera

Chia Chia using kok lun camera

watashi wa 'L' des

The reversi queen

Aint I scary???

More corns.. omg sound so corny....

Clarinda as always.... hui xin beside...

Pokemons and powerpuff girls......
Always will and always do.... love her

196

2008-05-15T19:23:00.001+08:00

You guys can try this

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

195

2008-05-15T01:43:00.006+08:00

Here are just some random and nonsense pictures !! Just for laughs. Maybe not.

Having fun talking!! I was on the other table
from left, calvin, clarinda, chia yee, hwee xin, meng ting, kin kwok, jasper
jasper, calvin and kinkwok. They are actually very full already.

EEEeeeewwWWww, sour!!
' I never thought eating could be so 'tough' '
Killer !! Kin kwok went to order all these.
While ordering...
Still deciding.........
Where is my miss right???
Just getting started....
Second round fight!!

We had our usual boring lab.

I was lazy as usual....

Not in the mood to do anything since yesterday's training.

Felt like sleeping.

Oh YA! had a bad cramp this morning while i was half awake, half asleep..

I didnt know why.

It hurts, while hurting i couldnt take it but to go back to sleep.

amazing huh ^^

Then had the 10 minutes quiz.

Argh!! copied answer in the end too.

Copy also get 70 only.

Went for break.

Play uno stacko in the games room.

My hand were shaking, it was so scary that i almost poo-ed in my pants.

Show you all the video next time

Then PCN lectures.

History-making boring class in my entire 18 years of living on earth.

Went to eat sakae with my class peeps.

eat.....eat.... drink...eat.....drink....drink....eat....eat...and eat again

So FULL!! Buffet, what do you expect.

Went to find carole at tampines.

Accompanied her with her unfinish business.

Went back home.

So tired...

THANKS FOR THE MASSAGE.

cause i love you so

194

2008-05-14T00:04:00.002+08:00

Well thing are back to where they belong.

I'm right back on track.

I'm motivated too... YES!

My class ended unexpectedly early today, 2pm.

It was a long and hot afternoon.

I have to wait till 5 o'clock till my training starts.

Slack a bit at the bench after my test, copying notes ( Can you believe it?? )

Right after that i decided to go to the sports complex.

Sitting down at the grand stand.

Watching football, the s&w people.

Told her about it and she says she like me looking at guys. ( at least better than looking at girls )

*What?? come on your bf is not gay*

Training starts.

......... water break ......... water break.

Training ends.

As usual the gang did not wait for me.

And well since anand is going to eat he waited for me.

We reached the market, what he did was watching me eat.

Finish eating.....

Went over to greg's table.

History and achievement and those cocky juniors were our topic.

..... you know that guy ah, what's his name.........

Conversation ends.

Proceed home.

Sun rise

2008-05-12T21:11:00.002+08:00

7th May 2008

The day so special.

Everything started.

you've made my life so special in every single way.

it's you now and always.

end of the day

2008-04-06T10:12:00.002+08:00

Reach home kinda late yesterday and so I didnt have time to blog. I'll be going on camp from today till wednesday. End of the day.

The girl who never smiled;
the boy who couldn't strive;
a melted heart starved by loneliness;
whose only desire was to be whole.

The trust of a child

2008-04-04T21:35:00.003+08:00

Ouch haha. My body still hurts.

I could Forget what i heard.
I could Forget what i saw.
I could Forget what i ate.
But i could never forget my love.

I could forget how to read
I could forget how to speak
I could forget how to write
But i could never forget your voice.

There is no one in this life

2008-04-03T20:13:00.003+08:00

Before I know, I've been blogging almost everyday. It's so good to have so much time. Slowing down my pace everyday, makes me open up my eyes to look at things around me. Those that I've miss during the hectic days. Everything is coming back now. To think I was such a fool, to let go of so many chances. I went to get a tan today. Beautiful weather till it rains. Lucky for me, I didn't get caught in the rain. Roaming about at causeway point alone. Aimlessly though. Watched a movie on youtube. Kinda depressing. I wonder if tomorrow will still rain.

When I am around her
I forget the world exists
When I am away from her
It's unbearable how much she's missed

Walk with me

2008-04-02T22:42:00.002+08:00

Haha, went gym today. Actually was kinda lazy at first. Played with the gang till around 4 before proceeding to the school gym. Lucky enough, I was already in the shelter when the rain falls. Gym awhile before proceeding to have a lonely dinner. Then went lot 1 for a walk. Saw my friend there. Then I came back home.

Why are you so different?
You're not who you used to be
And why am I so lonely,
When you're right infront of me?

How to live alone forever

2008-04-01T19:52:00.002+08:00

It's April fool day. I can still faintly remember how Benjamin got trick into Anand having a crush on him. Been rotting at home this 2 days, SLEEPING!!. I know I have to do some work out, but I lack discipline. I'm starting to notice the declination of my laptop. It's getting old. Need to reformat my laptop someday. My internet cable is kinda problematic. Keep getting dc-ed for no apparent reason. I'm not working anymore. Finally free. But too free.

You're lovely to me
Inside and out
Even you fault
I cant live without

Urban love

2008-03-31T00:54:00.003+08:00

It's coming to the end of march now. April's coming and school's starting. Finally no more work for me. Miss football and every other thing else. Trial camp was rather boring. The only part which I like is when we get to stay in the staff apartment. Almost like a chalet!! 3 - 4 people in an apartment 1 in a room each. FUN FUN!! Though, is a camp we enjoy ourselves a lot to drinking in the night. Not sure if I'll be going to the actual camp. Met many new friends too in the same course. I went to cut my hair yesterday too. Look more like ah beng now. I kinda like my new semester timetable except for the fact that we end at 5 on Friday. I've lots of things to buy too!!

I don’t know why I’m writing this,
Or why I’m even thinking of you,
I wanted security, A relationship,
You wanted fun and a fling,
You play on my mind all the time,
And I wish you knew how this felt

Rainy night

2008-03-27T20:32:00.002+08:00

A request from jasper. ^^

1] At what age do you wish to marry?
- 20++
2] What i want the most now?
- to straighten out my thoughts
3] Who is the person you trust the most?
- myself
4] Do you think you have enough confidence?
- nope
5] If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
- to see her smile
6] Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
- yea
7] What are you afraid to lose the most now?
- myself
8] Do you believe in eternity love?
- yea
9] If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
- when time comes
10] List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
- wacky, handsome, fun
11] What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
- faithful and concern
12] What type of person do you hate the most?
- none
13] Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
- every single one of them
14] Do you believe in God?
- no comment
15] What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
- what you want to do for your life
16] Do you find it a need for you to have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
- occasionally
17] At this point of time, would you rather stay in your comfort zone or try something new?
- try something new.
18] What kind of friend you hope to be in your friend's eyes?
- approachable
19] describe the person who tagged you in 5 words.
- he is very very funny
20] Do you prefer to have a few friends or a lot of friends?
- A few

Instructions:Remove 1 question from above, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chatbox that he/she has been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all .People who've been tagged:

1. Kimberly
2. Benjamin
3. Anand
4. Elaine
5. Samantha
6. Joanna
7. Sarah
8. Pan ying

Save me from myself

2008-03-25T23:28:00.002+08:00

When we were young, we talk about our dreams. Not realistic though. Flying in the sky, hoping an encounter with aliens, find out what languages do martians speak, or do they even exist? Nowadays I see kids get really pampered. I used to be a fan of macdonald when I was young and I would get the chance to eat only when I go out with my mum and aunt. That is during primary school time. Coming on the secondary school, start to realise all those dreams we had, were just too naive then. Begining to accept that there will be no power rangers to save the world in the end and no purple dinosaur would sing songs with you. Life changes drastically in secondary school. You start going 'yo yo' and shits. Life in secondary school, I have to say is quite miserable. The time when you are in between, of what you want and what you really need. Pressure from everywhere, influences. It's also the time where your life starts declining. Everything don't usually goes well for you. You started to hate life. Turn into an emo piece of shit. Starts cutting yourself and do stupid things to harm yourself. Slowly as you kick off that childish attitude of yours, you step into society. You will learn how to be a man.

We speak of traveling together, taking photos of the beautiful scenery.
Dreams

Promenons nous dans la rue

2008-03-24T19:38:00.002+08:00

Went to help out in track and field for sports camp yesterday. Had to be out in the sun from 1pm till 6:30pm. Most of them had 'sports bra' on them but I didn't. The rest all had rosy cheeks. Cute aren't they? It wasn't so bad for me as I don't easily get sunburnt. No idea why too. Manutd scored 3 goals against Liverpool ended up 3-0. Not a good news for Liverpool's fans. Chelsea scored 2 goals against Arsenal. They won too, 2-1, final score. Went gym alone today. Spent like 3 hours slowly slacking before proceeding to kim's house to get a sleeping bag from her. Then was all the way back home sleeping till now. I didn't want to work but I have no money.

Pullin' out the sun

2008-03-19T23:36:00.004+08:00

Got my timetable up. Monday is blank so I reckon it should be for IS. Tuesday, I'm ending at 4 and at 3 for wednesday and thursday. 5 on friday. I hate to have a long day especially on friday. Been working so there is not pretty much to talk about other than work which I guess will definately bores people and I will not share my boring piece of life now. Wait till school starts.

By the window

2008-03-18T10:12:00.003+08:00

I forgot to blog about my scores. Just hang on a minute while 'm trying to find my results.

Chiyang 3.2679
AEL-B
COMT-C+
COMPRO-A
EECAD-A+
EEPS-A
ECPRO-B
EG2-C+
IAC-C+

Ah ha! there it is
Kinda surprise man. Aren't you all too? Those who know how sucky my result in secondary school. To me this result is more than bonus.

181

2008-03-16T22:19:00.002+08:00

How to lose a guy in 10 days. I still faintly remember when I watched this movie. It was like when I were 11 and at that point of time, I am a complete idiot about romance and love life. Till now I still am. Actually it was sort of my parent's friend gave them the ticket. I don't know what is he thinking then but I think he wanted to break my parent up. So much for the stupid thinking. When I finally rewatch like at the age of 17++. At least I wouldn't say I didn't understand the movie, at least more than before. Cartoons and slapstick comedy were my days then. Of course, romance and love movie bores little kid. I fell asleep back then. It all started with a bet, a gamble. Sometimes I do feel that gambles and bets really have a huge impact on people's life. Get over with life man.

' I lost the only guy I've ever fallen for '
' The last ten days were the best I've ever spent with anyone in my life '
' Better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all... or is it? '

180

2008-03-07T22:42:00.002+08:00

I have completely no idea what am I going to write. My poor friend is standing in the train while I'm talking to her. She's having a bad day today. No seat for her. Poor thing. A game is more important than her. It's very noisy over there. She says she's like a po piah. Get stuck in between a group of noisy tourist. She's gonna get from po piah to prata.

Moving on..

179

2008-03-05T19:16:00.002+08:00

I must kick away the old image of mine. Improving on myself, be it english or chinese. Don't want to be the ignorant retard guy who have not a bit of common sense and general knowledge. Stack up the books that I should read. I just hope I'll have the determination.

I turned her on
but she's lock.

178

2008-03-04T23:04:00.003+08:00

It's been a working month for me this March. Every day from 0730 to 1600. I have many things that I wanna buy. Ipod, handphone, psp and etc.. Miss the premier for Step up 2. SAD!! Oh cutting my hair soon. Now I can only train at night. Just went to run. I injure my knee the other day when playing football. And just when I finish running, the pain struck me. It was awful. I realise I needa improve myself. Needa read more books, improve on my general knowledge. Having found out that I'm actually a frog inside the well. The wanted man is still on the runs (I don't mean shitting non-stop). Hope they put him behind the bars soon. He alone is causing traffic jam at the causeway link towards malaysia. Annoying.

I said her waist look like donut.
She slap me.
I asked why.
She slap me again...

177

2008-03-02T00:06:00.002+08:00

Till The End

All these precious moments
With you by my side
Must be a gift from heaven
That's holding me all night
I don't know how I found you
I'm thankful that I am
And I haven't love so true
To hold to keep to share

Chorus *

In my heart , I can no longer hold inside
All of the love I used to hide
I'll always be with you until the very end.
In this world , there is no place that I could be
You are my life, my soul , my girl.
And through it all,I know you come to see
That you 're the one till the end.

All my friends around me
See you be gone too soon
At the end ,I'm gonna make them see
We've found a way back home.

Chorus*

In my heart , I can no longer hold inside
All of the love I used to hide
I'll always be with you until the very end.
In this world , there is no place that I could be
You are my life, my soul , my girl.
And through it all,I know you come to see
That you 're the one till the end.

176

2008-02-22T22:03:00.002+08:00

Well I guess most of the people have their exams pretty much done. All the best to every one here. Is 22 February. Wondering how most people spend their valentine. I spent mine studying of course. I've got a paper one the fiftenth. Damn this shit. Life for me have been pretty much simple. Just spending a little too much. Chr carnival is just tomorrow. Is just like another day where all of our secondary school friends gather. The other day is teachers day. Yea need not explain. Been watching alot of movies lately too. Watched P.S I love you. It isn't that great. Nothing much to comment about too. Just very norm. Meet the spartans, funny but it isn't the kind I would pay for to watch in the cinema. That's all for now.

Sometimes, there's only one thing left to say

175

2008-02-19T11:41:00.000+08:00

What Chew Chi Yang Means

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.

You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.

A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.

Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.

Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.

You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts.

You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it.

You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator!

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.

You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.

You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.

You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.

Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

173

2008-02-07T22:00:00.000+08:00

It's the first day of Chinese New Year. Gotta be vegetarian for a day, that's what my mum says. She woke me up at 6 saying she's bringing me to pray, reason? I had drop/lost too many things. And I complaint. It's early in the morning and please just let me sleep! Well my maths test is coming and I have not started on anything yet. GOSH! Need to pull up my socks. Not literally. AEL is another killing subject. Well sleeping in class doesn't get you anywhere. So bored..

missing... lost... dreaming...

172

2008-02-06T20:36:00.000+08:00

I'll be blogging for today as, I'm seriously going to be bored till death. Well those who might not know, I'm in malaysia. Reason --> CNY. Though I'll only be back for 5days, it seem just too long. I've bought 3 new shorts, a new black skinny jeans, a new black shirt, a new white t-shirt and a new pair of white shoe. My shopping list is not yet finish. Need to get another pair of new jeans and another pair of black shoe and some more tops. I haven't been going for track training recently, or rather since the second term starts when they change the timing for the training from every monday, wednesday and friday to every tuesday and thursday. I miss all of my friends. Valentine's coming too. And my exam is just a day after, damn. Went playing football the other day, saturday as usual. Suddenly I miss everything I use to have.

miss the times, the fun, the pain and the sorrows....

171

2008-01-25T21:03:00.000+08:00

As many might know, I might just lay dead on the ground someday. I'm not sure what actually had gotten into me. Screwed-up emotions. Finally went for the gym orientation. Starting tomorrow I guess. Jo is coming to NP for the cos-play thing and kim has got her softball match.

GTG HAHA she is coming

170

2008-01-04T10:33:00.000+08:00

Rushing projects lately which I supposed to finish during the holidays. Crashing into the new term with lots of shit to do. Another 6 weeks before our 7 weeks break again. Lots of thing have been happening lately. Changes that I've seen in people, makes me think alot. Reflecting upon myself. However, it is funny to admit to something that I have not done. Drowning in a pool of lies. To cover up for people mistakes will only make them even more vulnerable to future resistance. Fun, laughter and sorrows. Is just another game of FM, you winning 4-0 in the first half. The strike back 10-4. Reality is telling you that it's not possible. You know? People dream. Why people day dream in class. As for now, I'm having lesson while typing this post. I'm not sure if you call this day-dreaming in class. I'm not staring into blank space. Is rude not to give people your full attention while they are presenting. Constantly striving for perfection while making use of others. Smart or stupid. Rightfully or not. Why copyrights? All these are just random ranting. Is my turn now. And just when I'm presenting, someone might be doing the same thing as me now.

signning off...

169

2008-01-01T20:43:00.001+08:00

Happy new year to everyone.

Well now so far what have I achieve for my year 2007?

Well I guess there is nothing much to talk about too.
Still working I guess, at my cafe. Damn hardcore. It's getting bored.
Getting 2 laptops maybe one of them.
My GPA of 2.86. Ha ha.
Also cut my hair before 2008.
Completing a FM 08 season before 2008 with The Tricky Trees, Nottingham Forest.

Here are just some of the things I want to achieve for 2008.

1. Watch M18 movie legally. There are many good movies, most of them are rated M18, it's a pain in the ass for not being able to watch them.

2. To spend more time with my secondary school friends. I know I've neglect them this year. Didn't attend this and that. Will find more time for them.

3. To change a job. Well no need to further explain.

4. Not to drop anything else. It's been a bad year and ya I lost alot of things.

5. To be able to skate properly. Didn't have much time to practise last year.

6. To be home for dinner at least 2 times a week. Didn't spend time with my family much.

7. To concentrate in my studies and track. Of course not to forget the jacket.

8. TRY not to fall asleep in class. It just won't get me anywhere while dreaming.

9. Sleep before 12am. My eyebags are getting heavier.

10. To change myself.

Yepp, I guess thats all.

168

2007-12-31T01:17:00.000+08:00

I went to cut my hair at my cousin's salon. His salon is still under renovation. Business is as usual. Went over to bugis to find choon hong and anand, apparently they went to shop. Ended up getting a pair of jean and a bag. My mum give us a ride back.

It rained yesterday. For so much I've always hated rain. The rain yesterday came just the right moment. Not because it's a warm day but because it falls on my face. I ran through the rain. I couldn't contain the excitement in me. I don't know why but it feels great. I will get a scolding every time if I return home wet.

There was once, I was riding my bike. Shu yi called me and say she would go on a movie date with me. Heart's beating so fast. Didn't manage to watch with her. Again too excited, I crash my bike and injure my leg. Must be laughing now right ha ha.

He would piggyback me back home. But now I've grown up, gotten heavier. What I wish once more could never be done again. Responsibilities is on me now. Should be my turn to piggyback people. To care, to concern and to love those around me. Christina said this to me 'if only pple noe how to cherish at first, thn wont hurt too many pple.'

To walk straight and not to turn back.

167

2007-12-25T23:37:00.000+08:00

I spent this year Christmas watching Hong Kong drama at a friend house.

20 Episode in total.

Actually spend 23 hours at that place.

Went for Benjamin's church musical.

Very beautiful I had to say.

Christina, I've got you your present after so long.

Sleeping like a log cake

166

2007-12-21T19:52:00.000+08:00

My hair is starting to irritate me. Not used to keeping long hair I guess. Makes my eye so itchy.

165

2007-12-20T14:31:00.000+08:00

Well I came back from genting.

Fog was too heavy, no outdoor activities.

Went down to KL on the third day.

The ladies did ALOT of shopping.

Took a 6pm coach back and reach singapore around 0030.

Reach home at around 0130.

Great I dropped my wallet in the cab.

Lost my ezlink card, 2 ICs.

like there is no yesterday.

164

2007-12-17T12:39:00.001+08:00

Going Genting later.

Hope to come back safe and sound.

17th till 19th.

I hate rains.

163

2007-12-16T01:31:00.001+08:00

X campus is canceled due to some reason.

Going to genting on the 17th-19th.

Finished my common test.

Went to expo with kim today.

Raining HARD today.

4E4 outing today.

Gotta cut my hair soon.

sleepless nights....

162

2007-12-10T00:11:00.000+08:00

What it actually means?

Been raining all day long.

Busy studying.

I saw lots of stars yesterday, a cloud-less night.

161

2007-12-05T21:55:00.000+08:00

Don't know since when I start hating rainy days. Though I always complaint that singapore's weather is hot and always been hoping for the rain to fall. On rainy days, accident happens, traffic jams, my shoes will be wet, late for classes and as well as having a hard time waking up.

Anyone is free on the 26 of january, is a saturday.
I need 120 helpers for X-Campus 2008 @ NP.
Time 0630 to 0930 hour.
It is a running event organise by NP track and field.
CCA points will be awarded.

questions and answers
open and close

160

2007-12-02T14:55:00.001+08:00

I'm 17 this year just incase for some of you out there who didnt know. I want to prove that I did live my life to the fullest up till now.

Here are some things that I've learn in my growning up years.

1 - Never be racist, you dont want to get beaten up for nothing.

2 - Always pay the correct far when boarding bus, do not attempt to cheat or the bus uncle will give you the scary look and scare you off the bus.

3 - Always help your teacher to carry books if you wanna be the model student of class monitor.

4 - When you forget to bring something, dont say you forget, come up with something more fancy, like ' my little brother fed my dog the test paper and now it's in the dog's stomach ' The question as to whether the teacher believe it or not, is another worry.

5 - Wear skinny jeans if you are not fat, wear fat jeans if you are not skinny.

6 - When playing game, on music. the default sound of the game you play often sucks.

7 - When you get owned in game, bear in mind, do not spit vulgarities, it's very tempting though.

8 - Always do your math homework. Unless you want your file teared up.

9 - Never step on a crocoach, kill them with an insecticide instead.

10 - Do not shuffle your songs on itunes. Else you get your emotions screwed up.

11 - Do not listen to english songs in chinese class. I'm sure the teacher is not gonna be happy.

12 - Never ever confess on msn or phone. Well you should know.

13 - Always be home for dinner.

14 - Look right, left then right again before you cross the road.

15 - Never watch movie alone no matter how much you want to. Is damn sick.

16 - Alcohol is harmful.

17 - Do not eat in your room. Ants bite.

159

2007-12-01T22:55:00.000+08:00

Sport camp GLs training has come to an end. Whether or not will I be chosen, I can only leave it to the GLs to decide. Well, made many new friends.

Didnt have to go to work today. Finally a day to rest at home. Then I went to clementi to eat the XO fishhead noodle. It was very classic. If I have a chance, I will bring you all there. Something you wouldnt want to miss. I saw my EECAD lecturer over there also. She was with her mum. What I like about this lecturer is that she seem to favour guys to girls. Unlike those male lecturer, so hard to ask for their help.

Again, why?
Nearing the cross road, but I dont wanna stop.

158

2007-11-30T00:38:00.000+08:00

Tell me why.

You didn't want me to fly.

Afraid to close your eyes.

Sorry if I'm slow.

I hope you dont mind.

she was hurt, couldnt do much though i'm around.
she teared 3 times, each time I was there.
Just hoping I wouldnt be the cause.

157

2007-11-27T20:50:00.000+08:00

Sent Kimberly back just now.

Walk her home.

With my Ezlink card lost, life has been miserable for me.

I couldnt seek cheap thrills.

Like joy rides that I really enjoy.

Gotten my writing test back.

Got 7 for my vocab and grammer, 5 for my organisation and 3 for what I cant remember.

15/25.

Need to train myself more for track.

Been helping out events here and there.

Part of the commitee for X-Campus 2008.

I have been listening to alot of advice recently.

Rather than people listening to me.

Now I learn to humble myself.

Went to eat at KAP with Chia Yee just now in the afternoon.

The rest went to IMM cause they have no lesson.

Need to spend more time with everyone.

I'm sure they miss me HAHA just joking.

156

2007-11-25T23:17:00.000+08:00

Today at 2150 hour.

She took away something.

Something I would never forget.

Mixture of feelings.

Had me going crazy over.

4648-484-638-2247735-7745-87743-96

155

2007-11-24T19:54:00.000+08:00

It's a saturday and I'm at hendrickson's house now. Both him and Edwin are playing guitar hero 2, I dont understand why. They bought guitar hero 3. I just realised that when was the last time I set foot at hendrickson's house. When was the last time when the whole gang of us sat in his dad's car. Can everything be the same? Like what we used to be, carefree, stress-less and when the world is like just an arm length away from us? The innocent childhood filled with uncertainty. Facade could be deceiving.

Had my computer programing test yesterday. Expected to finish first and well I did HAHA smug, sorry. I spent half an hour on the test. MCQ wasnt very well done as I was too lazy to double check also. Heck care. Sports camp GLs training was the third and the fourth, which is next friday, is gonna be the last of all.

A very sorry to ROSLINE, I pang seh her. I'll be free the next time you ask me out alright.

I thought I had it all gotten rid of.
Each time, it pains me even more.
Though I know about it all, the way you acted.

Seem to care but not showing.

Why whatever is done seem to be the opposite of what's said.
It's confusing.

Missing hole.
Should it even be there?

154

2007-11-22T18:58:00.000+08:00

With common test coming right up, I dont think I'll have time to update my blog. Studies have taken most of my time and of course CCA too. I needa spend more time on my maths and AEL, really having a hard time coping. Computer programing test coming tomorrow. Not studying but playing instead. I need CCA-points, if there's anyway to earn it please let me know. Contact me at this number, 98891064.

It's fifteen minutes to 4.
He infiltrate, silently, through the heavily guarded building.
His mission was to kill.
The clothe with another woman smell is his only clue.

153

2007-11-18T22:19:00.000+08:00

I wish to go back in time.

To where we left off.

I would hold back every breath.

That pisses you off.

When you turned your back on me that day.

I never dream I have the chance.

To see you once more today.

' Are you lonely? '

152

2007-11-17T11:51:00.000+08:00

Hey Ya!! Good to see you again. Exhausted from all the work. Help out for Project Nutz and POL-ITE. Nowadays I feel hungry easily. Sitting in the library relaxing. I got to know alot of friends. And when I thought playing game is a good way to relieve stress, ended up getting more stress. Why I put myself through all these work. Though tired but still wanna do. Sounds retarded right? As I'm typing, I'm starting to drift slowly into my world with no reality.

151

2007-11-16T10:37:00.000+08:00

Been kinda busy this week. Didnt had time to update. Helping out for Project NUTZ and POL-ITE. Staying overnight in school on friday till saturday morning. Got my crumpler finally. Haha. Didnt have time for my friends, the last time I stone with them was like ages ago. Bought cookies from sinee and jamie. Pretty successful I guess. Need longer sleep.

every night
the stars seem so bright
as dawn breaks
i see no lights

150

2007-11-12T00:46:00.000+08:00

Celebrated 2 happy occasions today, the very first of all, my cousin's wedding. First time going to a wedding ceremony alone. The place was fill with people whom I do not know. Felt kinda funny at first.

Made many friends, 99.999% of them are all older than me. It makes me feel like I'm as old as well. Had lunch buffet at kepel.

Went to 6th avenue to celebrate a friend wait rather 2 friends birthday, cause both of their birthday fall on the same day. BBQ, then we played some games.

The day come to an end

I miss those bus rides
you said you wished the road is longer
I didnt get you at first
you called me dumb

149

2007-11-11T01:10:00.000+08:00

He's playing his guitar singing a birthday song, everything was did underground. Dropping bombs killing thousands, he's still playing his guitar under the ground. He's safe from every other things but not the venom of the human heart.

He slept on the tight rope between 2 coconut trees. He does not fall but hoping some kind soul would just give him a hand, push him off, SNAP!! the rope breaks. Knocked his head against something hard. He realised. He was sleeping in the bus.

Foolishness kills. Bear that in mind.

Went for the sports camp GLs trainning, wasn's half good neither three-quarter bad.

Went to eat with my track and field mates on friday which means yesterday. Learned a new retarded but actually very brain-cell-killing kind of game. Retarded games have retarded names. It's called the MAFIAs. Will explain, if I ever have a chance.

I'm running home.

37th minute of the day, he killed himself.

148

2007-11-08T10:36:00.000+08:00

It's raining.

Watched Man Utd's match at Hendrickson's house in the morning. Alright I slept and each time I wake up, Man Utd scores a goal. 4-0 in the end.

Starting to get a life. Instead of the mind-less-zombie-like-me sitting infront my laptop smashing away my keyboard, clicking as fast as I could on the mouse, turning up the volume as high as possible, playing DotA.

I observe things around me, do they follow the law of physic? Please dont tell me Pigs can fly and Cows can bark, had enough of these nonsense.

Everytime in the midst of an argument, you will start pouring nonsense, adding oil to fire.

You ask me to pull over,
saying you had enough of this.
I continued.
Drove off the cliff.

147

2007-11-06T19:10:00.000+08:00

11月6日
晴

有人曾经对我说，暂停是为了走更长远的路程。直到现在，我仍然不同意此人的意见。我相信，永不放弃。终点只会离你越来越近，终点它没长腿，它正在等着。此时此刻，不只是你在跑。与你一同，竟是你的朋友，你的劲敌。但我怎么也不想尝失败的滋味。失败不好受，但它能让你成长。

有些事，还是不说的好，何必拆穿好让人家难作。口是心非。不知此时此刻该信不信。渴望但不实际。听了许多人心事，何时将会有人听我讲心事。

我答应了她，但我始终没做到。我做事时常拖泥带水。所以没一件事做得好。

今天去了戏院。看了一部有如童话故事般的电影。

明天又要上学了。

146

2007-11-04T16:00:00.000+08:00

手托腮, 似笑非笑的你, 看着他期期艾艾. 什么时候才走到是非之外, 因为你想和他谈爱. 请摊开, 曾握你脚趾的手, 交给他你的未来. 到这一步才不管他好还是坏, 因为你想和他谈爱. 让他一生为你画眉, 先明白痛再明白爱. 享受爱痛之间的愉快, 江湖的纷扰自有庸人担待. 让他一生为你画眉, 愿他的心宽容似海, 再不提你曾给他伤害, 你要他身边再没别的女孩.

人心难测。她是何等阴险人物，你我都知。不知为何这颗心怦怦的跳，似乎对她存有儿女之情。你可看出她对你是多么的关心，多么的欢喜。你得罪她无数次，她仍然都不放在心上。她为你宁可放弃她的一切, 一个是她的亲爹，一个是她所爱的人，她偏夹在此间。

和你这小魔头相依为命，为你赴汤蹈火，处处顾你的面子。难道你还看不出么。为何到这地步，还对她存有疑心。算她对你不仁，你不可对她不义。也不况她对你一番真心。

她会感到欣慰因你多次找不责怪的理由。你虽嘴硬，但心却是软。

她吃醋，你在他人身上流了一道疤，好让他人今生今世都忘不了你这负心汉。这时，她在你手上的伤疤小心翼翼地吻下去，那时是她在你手上咬下，好让你忘不了她，当时她害怕，怕你疼又怕你手上不会有疤。管你医术在精，也不能将这疤除去。

她要你为她做三件事。第二件是不能与他人成亲。当这这么多人，你知你不可这做。心里是多么的高兴，多么的喜欢。你不很她到此砸场。你对她还存着绵绵情意。

你肯为她画眉。

145

2007-11-02T01:25:00.000+08:00

I always wanted to do it but each time, I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
Sitting alone.
Talking on the phone.

144

2007-10-31T22:52:00.000+08:00

I gathered all the courage I could find just to call her.

' Hello? ', the voice I longed to hear.

' Hello... err..., is this soh chen? ', afraid of getting the wrong person.

' Yea I am and you are? ', I was overjoyed upon hearing the answer.

' Chiyang, remember? ', filled with uncertainty.

I was trying to ask her out today as I was near Republic poly. She was one of my good friend in primary school, just recently I tried calling her out. We haven't met once since the day we graduate from our primary school.

Apparently things didn't work out for me, I did not meet her as she had something on.

Slack at starbucks before meeting the rest to celebrate jabez birthday.
They got a cake for him, and lots of macdonalds balloons, seriously retarded.
Met up with alot of people, including the usual few, jin xian, edmund, joanna, zhao xiu, chaoyi, houe chuan, qing wen came along. Pretty fun.

Tired, pens down.

143

2007-10-25T00:09:00.001+08:00

My workload this semester is like double of what I had for my last semester. With 3 projects on hand now and one due on this friday. Haven't been spending much time with they guys too, always pang seh them. No time for my DotA too. Life is like pain on the ass. Hurt my ass a few days ago. Still hurting. I did a circuit board for my eeps project. Just started, show you all the pictures next time. Sleeping now. Bye.

142

2007-10-22T23:16:00.000+08:00

Speeches have their restriction
The rest is up to you.

141

2007-10-21T15:26:00.001+08:00

Last night, or rather early morning today, went over to hendrickson's house. Watch Man Utd pwn Aston Villa, 4-1. After the match I slept at his house for 2 hours before proceeding to work. Work form 730 till 2. After that went to novena square to find Felicia, didn't see her for very long. Her eyes as small as ever. Voice didn't change either. Grown prettier. I'm taller than her now. Too bad she work till 10.

Tomorrow gotta wake up at 630.

140

2007-10-20T00:13:00.000+08:00

The singapore plane A380 had it's virgin flight some day ago, I cant really remember. I cant believe that I actually pay attention in class and did my homework regularly. I suddenly cut down on my time spent playing games. After the first semester, I thought I would have an aim for the second semester, seems just slacking away now. Concentrating on studies instead of trying to pursue my so-called 'goal ' in my life. Been reading my novel, finishing soon. Bought a dozen of doughnut for my family, spent 12 bucks, all kinds of funny funny flavours. The first week have past, projects and homeworks were already starting to pile up.

If life is easy, life ain't easy.

139

2007-10-18T23:43:00.000+08:00

If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong
Our dreams are young and we both know
They'll take us where we want to go
Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you

Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing’s gonna change my love for you

If the road ahead is not so easy
Our love will lead the way for us
Like a guiding star
I'll be there for you if you should need me
You don't have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are
So come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too
Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you

Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing’s gonna change my love for you
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love

Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing’s gonna change my love for you
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love

138

2007-10-15T23:17:00.000+08:00

In the darkness and cold
I long to hold

Beyond light
He is drinking sprite

Such high aims
Set himself into flames

That coin seem so old
Dug out by a mole

I hope to see some findings
But it seem there's no ending

137

2007-10-14T01:43:00.000+08:00

It's easy to fall
To a hole so small

Tell me why
It wouldn't fly

I'm behind the white line
It will also be my goal line

He went away
I still have to give way

I have faith
I will not be the eighth

136

2007-10-12T00:03:00.000+08:00

Haven't seen her for quite sometime
Kinda miss her voice

Each time we meet
We talk less than 10 minutes

She comes to me
While I can never go to her

I ought to know by now
She's unreachable

Not that I have a choice
Rather she've made her choice

135

2007-09-28T00:56:00.001+08:00

Seriously I think I'm going nuts. My life is already pretty much screwed up, adding on to that, been doing alot of ' things ' that you wouldnt usually see me do. Just recently, I woke up from my sleep, for some reason, I broke out in cold sweat. I therefore walk all the way to seven-eleven to eat cup noodles before walking back home. Did I sleep walk? Here's another, I sleep sitting up straight. Cause prolly I got a blocked nose, lying down causes difficulty in breathing. Another thing was, I simply just cant concentrate. Just today, I accidentally burn my partner's hand. The steaming wand was hot, while she was cleaning it, I press the button that release the steam. She tossed her clothe and 'OUCH!'. My bad, sorry. In order to make it up for her, I tried to apply some oilment on her hand. She rejected, partly afraid that I would cause more harm instead of help. After a short while, she wanted me to accompany her home. I'm like alright, guilt stricken. She is afraid of ghost. The whole journey, she shared with me her ' experiences '. Whenever she walk through the underground at night, she will dash to the MRT station as fast as she could, while still acting tough infront of others. She would cry to me about how afraid she was and all the stuffs. Damn cute, her reactions. Haha. She have the kind of face that you would think she's not afraid of anything. Too much cholocate... OOO, HAHA

134

2007-09-27T00:30:00.001+08:00

Okay, I don't know why and don't ask me, I've been posting very early in the morning for the past few posts. Been running here and there this holidays, how I just wish people would come and find me instead. Been spending too much time on traveling. Lacking of sleep is deadly, causes high blood pressure and many other illness which I can't really remember. Finally, I've found some commitment, though not a lasting one. But still, something for me to do instead of rotting. I've always been wanting to pursure my dreams, now I understand. Dreams were meant for sleeping and those who got the talent, time and money. I've got to settle down and start working hard like everybody else. Slap myself into reality. We ain't gonna live forever. Browsing my iTunes trying to choose a few song. Cant really decide which to use. Saving up for a camera now, really need one for myself. Some how or rather I miss school. Gonna study hard and pull my GPA up. Even though I might say this. When school starts, I will start lazing again. Need alot of determination. For now is like my car runs out of petrol and I dont wish to top up the tank. Meanwhile still trying to get back my fitness. No time for much things. Work to earn abit of money for myself. If you all noticed, my post is usually mixed up, I type whatever comes into my mind first, didn't really bother to rearrange my points. I can talk about one thing, jump to another and coming back to the previous topic again. So please, do not feel irritated. I looked out of the window, cars and more cars. My window is facing the main road and it can really get noisy at times. Especially during the time when I'm supposed to turn in, coincidentially, all the noise starts. I stay all the way up on the 15th storey. Thats the irritating part. Greed overcomes oneself.

133

2007-09-26T02:38:00.001+08:00

Woke up at 11am today, had something light for breakfast? Anyway, I proceeded to kim's house, partly because of the video she had done for ben and partly also I asked her for some help. Everytime I go kim's house, I must complain. Why live so high up zz... After a long, hot and tiring climb, I didnt dare to ring the bell, so I decided to call her. No reply, then an idea struck me like lighting in clear black sky. I did something to get the attention of her dogs, nothing much really, just a knock at her door. To-what-I-already-thought-I-knew the dogs bark like mad. Kim walk out of her door and let me in. She was watching some detective show on some channel, decided to finish it. Half way through the show, some things happen, LIZARD INVASION, prolly something new to me but nothing special to kim as snakes and lizards were like neighbour to her. After all the 'happenings', her mom caught the lizard, (oh ya, not the kind you see crawling on the walls), after that I heard her dog bite the lizard and all the insides come out, something along that line.

Saw the video she had done, alright for first timers. Didnt really comment much about it. I proceed to doing my own video, quite tiring, fell asleep halfway doing it. HaHa, woke up and continued.

Went on to find sinee with anand and benjamin, jamie and erastus were there too. Stone at sinee house for awhile, eat strawberries , then we went to eat. What puzzled me was, although sinee stay in that area, erastus and jamie seem to know their way better than sinee. I asked her, 'hey sinee, you just moved in or what'. They went to buy 'fireworks' ( that's what sinee called it ) actually they are just sparklers. They play with fire at the playground, I didnt really want to play fire near a playground. Bad memories. During this time of the year when I was around primary 4 that time, I went to this playground near my school, with my friends, we played with fire, ~~boom it became koko crunch~~ my friends and I burned the whole playground down. I ran away.

Now is 3am needa sleep. Evil heart.

132

2007-09-25T01:18:00.000+08:00

When the weather isn't at all nice, bad things tend to fall onto by-standers. Just when i was walking home from macdonald, dark cloud covered the sky. I knew at once nothing good is going to come out of it. Before I had the time to think should I look for the nearest shelter or dash my way home, cats and dogs starts dropping from the sky. Panicked, I ran home as fast as I could. Here I'm at the traffic light, despite the man being red, I looked to my right and left, ' alright, all clear '. All that was on my mind that moment was just to get home as soon as possible, nothing else really matters cause I'm carrying my laptop. Out of no where, there was this car came charging at me, i guess it lost control or something but luckily it brake just in time. Just a foot length from getting knock down by the car. The driver just drove off after that, didn't even bother about me. Never mind that, I continued running till I've reach my block. Drench. I'm too cunning.

131

2007-09-23T14:58:00.000+08:00

Work and more work. And now add some more work to me. Been very tired this past few days. More like i push the work to myself rather than people pushing it to me. I just cant stand how some people do their work. People always comment about what I do when I dont really care about what and how they do as long as they do the job in the end. Others expect me to listen to them when they didnt show me why I should listen to them. When I take the matter into my own hand, people expect alot from me. ' Because you are doing the job! '. Just because others dont want to do the job, I took up the job out of goodwill instead of this and that, ' just tell me when you have everything settled ' and ' I not sure also, you go find out then tell us. ' I gave suggestions, all some people did was comment on it and when i asked any better suggestions, silence. I've asked myself, people likes to push things to me and expect it to be done when in the end my opinion isnt even important, they finish the last part of the job and claim credit. Is just like I grow a christmas tree, when christmas comes you put the star on the top and claims it is yours. People complains that i'm very lazy, true, not much point into doing so much things for everyone. Every man for himself.

130

2007-09-18T00:57:00.001+08:00

Again once more, it ain't getting any better

129

2007-09-17T18:24:00.000+08:00

Still damn bloody pissed.

128

2007-09-17T00:10:00.001+08:00

Okay, this just isn't fucking right.

127

2007-09-14T10:40:00.000+08:00

HaHa, I passed all my subject with disappointment. 4 Bs and 2 Cs and a total of 2.86 for my GPA. Jabez got 4 and I cant believe it.

Went to zoo the other day, the weather was just right for sleeping. Supposed to meet at 10:30am, in the end I woke up at 10:30am. Ask them to go ahead without me and I'll catch up with them later. Reach the zoo at about 1 pm. They played cards there and got screwed.

The ticket costs $16.50 per person. Burn huge hole in my ~~ass~~ pocket. Saw many different animals. The last time I've been to a zoo was when I was still in primary 3. It change alot since then.

126

2007-09-10T01:24:00.000+08:00

Went to suntec for the game event. Kinda waste of time there. It wasn't as grand as WCG, just a mini-WGT. DotA competitions every where. One of my classmate, chia yee, is working there. The pay is like $8 per hour. How i wish i could work that kind of job, slacking and earning quite high rates. Went skateboarding with jasper over the past weekend. Tiring, skate for about 2 hours or so, went to IMM to enjoy the air-con before proceeding to find my friends. Been working too, pain is everywhere within reach. If i could just sleep.

125

2007-09-05T19:24:00.000+08:00

Thank you, Kim and jo for the lovely present. Start off with the changi slacking incident. We decided to meet and head for changi to slack. Took 858. Long, bumpy ride. Slack till about 6, i proceed to find my friends at tampines to catch the 7:15 ratatouille Pretty interesting though, no spoilers! dont worry. The guys went to genting as plan. Been going home very late for the past 2 weeks. Burned myself inside out, damn tired plus work. As a result of all those things, fell sick. Partly due to 4 consecutive days of curry. My relatives came and visit from m'sia, not so close with them now, unlike before. Need a long break.... Sleep and not waking up. HAHA

124

2007-08-29T11:09:00.000+08:00

Benjamin, Jabez, Joanna, Kimberly and me( extra ), went to east coast park to stone. We decided to meet at bread talk before proceeding on to have our lunch. Kim was late, busy drying her hair i guess. We went off to horizon first, played cards there while waiting. After our lunch, to-not-our-surprise, it was rainning heavily. We still went on ahead with our plan. The boring bus ride was quite long. It was flooding everywhere. Wet my shoes. SLACK haha. played cards at BK till about 5, went to the rock and stone. Had dinner at this japanese cum korean restaurant. We all wanted to have sake but underage and all of us didnt dare to ask so in the end we finish our food and went to mac to play cards. Bridge, played till about 1245am then we decided to take a cab home. Reach home at about 1 am.

123

2007-08-24T11:46:00.000+08:00

Long story dude. It all started the day right after our exams. Our class plan to go to sentosa. We went there and play volleyball. In the beginning, most of us dont really know how to play, so we pick up more balls than we hit the ball.

service number 30. When we reach, put our things down, we started playing. Half-way through, rain spoilt our fun. Just a little drizzle. Jasper and Ian came after the rain. We were supposed to Went to jessica's house in the morning to meet the rest of my classmates. We took a SBS bus meet at 10:30 but they came at 1pm. We had fun till a group of big size people came and played with us. They are seriously big. We took photos then went to vivo and 'da pao' some food up to the rooftop and eat. Nice view, i should say. Calvin started to temp us with the vodlka, Ian and Kl went to buy klassic Q and carlsberg repectively. They drink half-way, i also couldnt take it, asked ian to buy for me also.

After everything, took 963 home, supposed to send jessica home since it's on the way. Anyway i did sent her home.

Reach home at 12, called kim and told her that her birthday is over, dont really know what i was thinking at that point of time. Went to sleep and woke up in the early morning, reached school like 9:15am. Waited for friends, then we proceed to the hall and play badminton. Had fun and my whole body is aching now.

Found my lost ezlink card wooot~..

From anti clock wise, Calvin, Ian, Kok lun, Me, Jessica, Chia yee, Jasper, Kin kwok, MongsJasper, Ian and me!!Playing with the Big people.

Me and jessica

Us at vivo..

122

2007-08-23T19:07:00.000+08:00

Chiong 2 days, damn tired..

121

2007-08-18T08:52:00.000+08:00

I love this!!

120

2007-08-15T00:37:00.000+08:00

Haha happy birthday to myself, thanks to all who remembered and those who forgot. Ain't I such a great friend, forgive those who forgets.

Anand they all gave me a skateboard, thanks alot, show u all the picture next time. Spend my day at hendrickson's house, learning guitar from ben, playing dota and playing forfeit games. I kenna the most forfeit. 3 of them, finish the sweet and sour sauce(wasn't so bad), finish the tom yam sauce(still alright), the one teaspoon of pepper was really, killed me off, hend kenna the raw noodle, choon kenna another still not so bad pepper, ben was damn lucky never kenna at all. Anand had to snot the tom yam powder, well we asked him to finish it but instead he snot it and he gotta lick my skateboard wheels, damn disgusting.

119

2007-08-12T05:38:00.000+08:00

Some people tagged me about gay stuffs, well dont blame me for this post.

Rules Dude:

1)Each player gives 10 weird things about him/herself.
2)Those who got tagged must write in their blog of their own weird things and state the rules.
3)In the end choose 5 person to be tagged and list their names.

My list of 10 weird things.

1)Eats faster than normal human.
2)Hates sms-ing
3)Will take months before finishing a book( still haven't finish harry potter )
4)Likes to stone in school till it's very late, even not waiting for anyone
5)I cannot settle myself on one thing
6)Hates blogging
7)Lazy to cut finger nails
8)Must always be fully equiped for whatever sports i'm doing
9)For no reason, just wouldnt want to open my mouth to speak.
10)Irritated for no apparent reason

Lucky 5s
1)Jasper
2)Pan ying
3)Darin
4)Samantha
5)Ken

118

2007-08-11T15:02:00.000+08:00

Went to ben's church event thing on thursday, apparently he said it was some kind of celebration for national day. He didnt told me that you have to get 'dirty' and i went there without bringing extra clothes. Had fun with the filming, games. Ferdinand was the main guy for all the scene and they did something that the pastor will confirm guai lan them. Something that isnt right.

I saw a bus crash a few days ago. Surprisingly no one was hurt, pretty bad crash, jammed-up the whole traffic.

The whole NDP celebration wasn't what i expected. But i like the part where kit chan sings, she is getting better and better, of course, i stayed at home.

This girl, hayley from the band paramore. Saw her in one of my friend blog.

Melissa, happy belated birthday. Hahas. Study hard everbody

Jo told me that someone jumped from opposite her block.

117

2007-08-10T09:34:00.000+08:00

I'm reflecting on myself lately, wondering why I am like this and that... What prompt me to do a 'personality check' is the way I see people around me. They always seem surprise of the way I deal with them. Its not a big deal, if they know me just recently. But its the other way around. These people I'm talking about have spent the many years of their lives with me. Some may be a year or two, but for those years, I'm confident that they have known much about me. So they are supposed to be used to it, I mean the way I am.

As I'm busy with all these thoughts, I feel like blaming myself. I didnt want to blame myself either. Right then when I realise that I've this so-called 'personal struggle'. Yes, its a struggle for I have not known myself that much. That could be the reason why many arent able to understand me.

Since its a 'personal struggle,' I've to be brave to search for myself even if it will hurt my ego. I've to, else I'll never be truly happy for my life. I shouldnt be deceived by the smiles and laughters I am able to make, for these arent really the bases of true happyness. It has to be without needing others to make you smile and laugh.

I've come up with this as I run away from sanity. But the struggle isnt yet through. I still have to reflect upon myself. I need to strive harder. But more importantly, I was able to realise this earlier and has made my first step. And I hoped its not yet too late for me...

116

2007-08-06T21:02:00.000+08:00

Okay, it's late in the night and what the hell are those guys doing? Apparently mj-ing+ watching how Man Utd pwn Chelsea ass. Man Utd won 3-0 on pennalties.

Exams are coming and I simply have no mood to study for it. Afterall the 'changing-course-idea' keep running through my mind. Should I or not. My course ain't as fun as it seem or rather, it does not seem fun right from the start. When I start my poly life, I've thought life would be full of fun, project, hot chicks. But now it seem completely different from what I had imagine. First of all, I gotta stress this point, HOT CHICKS are rare, all will be taken. Not really that I am perverted. Which guy wouldn't have their eyes set on chicks. On the other hand, I wouldn't want my wife or girlfriend to be too HOT, man she gotta attract unnecessary attention. All I want is a decent girl. But not now, still not mature enough. I'm still childish.

BROs before HOEs

115

2007-08-03T20:05:00.000+08:00

Today, Time 8am-10am
Kim looking at helpless ben
who seem to be day-dreaming

Today, Time 8am-10am
Ben practising his cute evil laughter

Today, Time 8am-10am
Eugene holding a long stick,
a boom mic. History of 400 years

Okay random!!